Just an Update...

So it's officially my favorite time of year... At least it used to be. My allergies this year have been absolutely miserable. There is no medication out there that can help me. Oh and lets not forget that although we are getting near the end of what used to be my favorite month, it's still near 100 degrees outside everyday. So I believe my new favorite month is going to be November.

As many of you know, I have been having an extremely hard time finding a new job. It's been around 6 weeks since I was laid off from my job, and have yet to find a new one. I know there are jobs out there that I can get that are not in the medical field. However, I am less than 18 months away from finishing nursing school so I'm trying my hardest to get in to a hospital. I have a few interviews coming up this week, so hopefully I will have some luck. It amazes me that due to the economical situation, I am being passed up for several jobs because I have more experience. They can pay somebody significantly less if they have no experience. I was always taught that the more experience you have, the better chance of getting a job would be. This is no longer the case. And last week, I was passed up for a job that was given to a guy with no experience that wore gym clothes to his job interview.

The boys are doing great. Logan is talking like crazy now. He learns several new words a day. He and Brett play together more which is so much fun to watch. They definitely keep mommy on her toes!I hope everyone is doing well. Don't forget to vote (for McCain!) on November 4th. As the wise Jim Lambert once told me, if you don't exercise your right to vote, you can't call yourself an american. Have a happy and safe Halloween!!

Where does the time go?

I was sitting out by the pool last night, and it occured to me that is has already been seven years since I graduated from high school. Where has the time gone? I still haven't finished college. I need to. I want to. It's just hard to do it with two little ones to take care of now. Will I ever find the time? My life is now filled with feeding babies, changing diapers, and making owies go away. But what about what I want? Will I ever be able to find that happy, middle ground where I get to be myself and still be a great mom? This is something I have been struggling with a lot lately. I love that I get to stay home with Logan and Brett. But I find myself feeling upset at the fact that I still haven't gotten to work as a paramedic, and I have been certified for almost 2 years. Then I feel guilty for wanting to go back to work, because I know that my babies need me. So what do I do?

I used to be the over-achiever. I worked 2 jobs and went to school full time. And I did that while I was pregnant. Now I can't even finish my self-study classes. What has happened to me? I used to love the challenge of having to find the time to do anything. Now I have plenty of time but can't seem to get anything done. I'm hoping that sometime soon, I will figure out what I need to do in order to feel like I'm doing the right thing again. I want to be a great mom, but does that mean I have to sacrifice something I love in order to do it? I need to find a balance... Soon!