I was sitting out by the pool last night, and it occured to me that is has already been seven years since I graduated from high school.  Where has the time gone?  I still haven't finished college.  I need to.  I want to.  It's just hard to do it with two little ones to take care of now.  Will I ever find the time?  My life is now filled with feeding babies, changing diapers, and making owies go away.  But what about what I want?  Will I ever be able to find that happy, middle ground where I get to be myself and still be a great mom?  This is something  I have been struggling with a lot lately.  I love that I get to stay home with Logan and Brett.  But I find myself feeling upset at the fact that I still haven't gotten to work as a paramedic, and I have been certified for almost 2 years.  Then I feel guilty for wanting to go back to work, because I know that my babies need me.  So what do I do? 
I used to be the over-achiever.  I worked 2 jobs and went to school full time.  And I did that while I was pregnant.  Now I can't even finish my self-study classes.  What has happened to me?  I used to love the challenge of having to find the time to do anything.  Now I have plenty of time but can't seem to get anything done.  I'm hoping that sometime soon, I will figure out what I need to do in order to feel like I'm doing the right thing again.  I want to be a great mom, but does that mean I have to sacrifice something I love in order to do it?  I need to find a balance... Soon!
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11 years ago

1 comment:
I TOTALLY understand how you feel!! You need to be Tiffany, too... not just mommy.. I wish I had the answers for you, but if you figure it out first, let me in on the secret!
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